"you cant jump the tracks were like cars on a cable

Black&White

2005-05-22T04:47:49Z

So the stress is overwith. it feels good to relax....

well not completely but at least the party portion of it is.

Yesterday was a hectic day but it went good i invited too many people and like 5 people uninvited showed up. well whatever can ya do? and pretty much everyone invted came exept for an occasional few. it was very good everyone danced there assess off and went to the bon fires where i smoothly started some smore making, it was just a good time..

mike brought me some pretty flowers.because hes just awesome like that <3.

it was about 80% sophmore. lol. and no real big drama occuredand it was a fun time indeed.

*and YES believe it or not people a fun time can be achieved without the alcohol and pot.sorry if you think it is "dumb" or "pointless" without it as i heard many people say*

now whether or not i do it again next year..ha well we will have to just see next year....

afterwards Katie,Charli,Justine,Kera, and Rachel P. ended up stayin overnight and helping me clean this morning. gracias muchachas =)

i have to just add that Erika Lynne i love you and im sorry you are hurting dear <3

i have afew pictures which i took from little miss thing and i have other people sending me others which ill add later....

..so life is fine. thats the best word i can use for it. in the last month i have been at one of my absolute lows, i keep getting sick and right when i think its all going good it just turns around and slaps me in the face and its just really sad. i always ask myself why arent i just normal? and why dont i have regular teenage problems why does it always have to be blown up to such a dumb extent which always leads to doctors?im just filled with alot of sadness and anger right now and not even anger towards anyone just like idk myself, but did i even do anything? whatever its stupid to complain about something on a livejournal so ill stop.

I <3 You Mike.

Lets be nothing..I heard it lasts forever.."

2005-05-01T17:40:47Z

I just got my camera all fixed up and all the pictures finnally downloaded right.

so heres some random pics from like November till now..

Enjoy...

i love them.. ^us before we fell off the hammock^ awe Laur Laur!..pretty! Philmister... MY pretty Bella ^ My bro, me ,my sis (are you happy yet erica?) i love you mister gardner <3.

iloveyoursmil3 @ 2005-04-28T16:14:00

2005-04-28T21:14:48Z

MANNY ROCKS THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!

"its just the price i pay...."

2005-04-09T15:28:22Z

Fill This Out PLEASE!! :D

1. I ______Rachel.

2. Rachel is ______.

3. Rachel needs _______.

4. I want to ______ Rachel

5. Someday Rachel will ______.

6. Rachel reminds me of _______.

7. Without Rachel _______.

8. Rachel can be ________.

9. Meeting Rachel is ________.

10. The worst thing about Rachel is ______.

11. I am ______ Rachel.

12. I think Rachel should _______.

Cheer up mya. :)

mike <3333 x 93465764554

It was recently Reece and Charlis Birthday! Happy Birthday!!

The End.

iloveyoursmil3 @ 2005-04-04T15:46:00

2005-04-04T20:46:52Z

spring break was great i went with justine to Arizona and we stayed at a hotel for the first half which was fun we did some singing for some random old people and well i burned and justine nicely tanned of coarse in the day time we basicly relaxed by the pool in eighty degree weather. then at night we got primped up and went out to eat. it was very fun. the second half of the trip we went to justines condo , that was good fun too. we did alot of stuff too much to write about. the last night we went to this very pretty resort place and went on a gondola ride, it was nice exept usually it is for couples lol. overall a great trip exept i burned and my suitcase barely made it home.it was awesome i cant really sum it up for you.

then yesterday when i got home mike came over for a bit. i missed him alot lot lot lot lot lot.. :)

yesterday was also Morg's Birthday ~Happy Sweet Sixteen~

today is well ok. not the best day of my life. some people were oh i dont know meaner than the usual? idk. sometimes people know how to bring others down. not to mention tommarrow i get to spend the whole day at the doctors office and get like idk 876876864896329798719 blood tests done. i swear it never ends, right when i think things are okay and goin on track something happens just to mess it up..

"and tell me did you fall from a shooting star..."

2005-03-15T04:42:49Z

so my last entry was kinda a drag.

Lately life has been good.

Friday i spent with mike, charli and ray and we went and listened to music and then went out to dinner at Ruby Tuesday and after that was . yeah. not getting into it. hah.

Saturday i slept in till about noon and i had nish's party and after that charli ray and mike came over and yeah. i found a bunch of jewlery in my sisters bed.

dont know how that got there...

Sunday i had a family party. studied my ace off the whole day for stupid chemistry, which i am still failing.

i failed the test today..

but it wasnt a bad day. Muyassar came back to school <3 whoo i missed her in those halls

11 HUGS!

then after school i got a ride from Ray and mike went out for dinner with me and my family to bookers. it was good.besides the facts that justine and morgan interogated my family becasue they werent coming along too lol. my family likes him. thats definately plus. then just me and him hung out which was awesome like always.

i really do believe i have fallen for him.

Charli got the job same with chanti at panera bread! WHOOO!!

CONGRATS MUCHACHAS!

Tommarrow me, morg, reece and justine= cheer on Jakey!whoo!

Mike, you rock my socks <333

please tell me why i have feel so.....

2005-03-01T22:56:08Z

i had a bad day today......

^Mya always did know just the right way to cheer me up :)^^

i feel somewhat better..

THE END.

<3 erika lynne

oh i heart mike<3

oh lord, i say it a lot.

2005-02-20T16:11:05Z

so im incredible confused, eithor my computer is being swedish or im imagining things, but eithor way my last entry just doesnt exist anymore? lol weird ace stuff i tell ya.

but life is good right now. simple and sweet.

its weird but i think that somewhere within the last oh i idk four months or so i think i have grown up, im not so much the shallow, close minded being anymore i think that act just gets old really fast.
i think muyassar has alot to do with it. people just dont understand how damn precious life is and when you see something that that you are so certain is over and then you watch, and pray and you see how it can turn around. its effin amazing. idk just thought i would share that.
oh and i really like mike. :)

*cant get this song out of my head*

"Heart Of Gold"

I want to live,
I want to give
I've been a miner
for a heart of gold.
It's these expressions
I never give
That keep me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

I've been to Hollywood
I've been to Redwood
I crossed the ocean
for a heart of gold
I've been in my mind,
it's such a fine line
That keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

Keep me searching
for a heart of gold
You keep me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
I've been a miner
for a heart of gold.

<3

when everything feels like the movies....

2005-01-17T19:34:05Z

so my computer has been down forever and a half but life has been just okay.

lately i did alot. Thank gosh finals are over, for now at least...

so Friday i went out with chanti,kera,katie,charli and ate at the china buffet lol it was good exept there were the five of us crying in the middle of the place. haha, but oh so cute. then we saw the school play where justine met up with us, i have to say it was the best one yet. and yeah then charlis house where we slept. it was good good.

Saturday i went with justine and saw In Good Company it was good i thought, then went back to her casa.

yesterday sat at home i ddint feel good so i rented some movies sometimes it is really good to have down days..

today i am goin to the show then i think i might hit up justine and morg and see what they are doing

the weirdest thing happened this guy like fell asleep at the wheel and went airbourne into my fence outside my house and hit a tree and well no theres uh ..no more fence.and my parents think the guy died but i hope not.

so yes i guess everything happens for a reason and thats what i have to keep on believeing...

yes and i sure hope that erika lynne is feeling better <3

and Mya you will go to the concert and if i hear one more thing about miguel my ears are going to bleed..haha just kiddin.. eh kinda<3

Snow Dayyy!whoo!

2005-01-06T19:30:05Z

well my computer hasnt been working for quite some time now and i have a problem with keep on updating this stupid thing..
so im not really gonna get too into whats been going on i have been at the gorgeous Myas house alot with the little erika and new years just passed it was good i went to a hotel with reece morgan justine and vinnie it was fun indeed exept i somehow ended up having to sleep on an effing chair?
but yes finals are here . sick. and i keep avoiding having to study which i really have to do sooner or later. tonite i might go to a youth group charlis if it is still going on. and yes this weekend should be good..
justine and sean now..hmm never saw that coming i do have to say.

Mya is doing great, well of coarse she is she is a strong little tiger that one never would give up i tell you :)

and i was talking with erika this morning and i dont know erika if the person will ever REALLY know how much we care and i think it is best to keep it in for awhile no?

well other than that my life is eh pretty bland right now. i have came to the conclusion that i shouldnt take everyones feelings and problems in like i always do i get so warped into everyoines problems and always worrying about how i am making other people feel, and my mom is worried about me right now which i hate when she worries. she thinks i havent been myself lkately an di know i havent i dont know why but i have just been feeling down. which will lead to other problems like it always does so idk..erghh...

<333

owow Myas Home!!

2004-12-22T04:26:29Z

so school is out and i am mrs.busy pants
sunday me and the lovely erika did myas room from like 2 till about 10 man if that doesnt express our love then wheew i dont know what does?lol
love=labor i guess

yeah so yesterday we had our christmas dinner so me katie chantel kera charli and nisha went to fridays and then walked over to steak and shake lol good times darnit. then me charli and kera slept over at katies last night.

Today i shopped with me madre for a bit then my mom picked charli up and we stopped at the beutiful myas house for a visit she is looking more wonderully rader than ever if i do say so ;) then me nish charli and katie went with chanti to her church little santa clause thingy it was very cute cute =D and so now i am home yayuh and i have a million and ten things on my mind AHH im going to go insane..
but yes on that note christmas is here lalalalalalaaa

Mya i am so proud of you dear <3 x 867677657657776 etc etc

*Some things that make me smile*

Let the good times roll..........

<3

You Make Me Wanna LA~LA

2004-12-11T23:38:09Z

so yesterday was a good day it was firday whoo whoo..
i got home from school and talked with the beautiful erika and mya, which always makes me so incredibly happy.
Mya isdoing so gosh darn good im so proud of her she walked with a cane up the stairs yesterday and her heart is so big and beautiful thats why i know she will be out of there in no time..and she is still little miss emo wild child heh...

yeah after that at like 7 chanti picked me up and nish, Katie, Charli and Ker were already in the car and we went to chantels little party thingy Jeremy was there but he wanted to be with Nina it was cute though. and we kinda chilled and took pics of ourselves in the bathroom haha we are strange mmm. yes. kinda. and then we did secret santas and i got like a football and chaocolate that i planne don giving my bro for x mas but nah that would be lame of me haha. then i had to go home mmm.i am exited for Ihop and ice skating and i am happy nish has settled =)

today i woke up early and got stuck with a needle at the docs.. eh nothing new i didnt faint though and then i came home and took a 1.5 mile jog but my legs hurt idk why though so i didnt go that far and then i talked with Nishy on the phone then Miss Mya and katie so it was all good..
and yeah me and Reece need to get Justines present like mmmm soon..

Tommarrow get toi go see Mya again her mom offered to take me so it is nice..

i have to go babysit now ickkk..but i need the mulaa..

<3 much love

and i dont wnna miss a thing...

2004-12-02T00:03:26Z

well its been awhile.
i have to say i am doing better
its been tough but knowing she is doing better really helps i went and saw her yesterday she could talk and she was oh so cute and understands everything.*sigh*. she is so gorgeous. but yeah school is tough i might as well drop out. me and jarod broke up. trust me im fine its not even a big deal lol. i am someone in NC's hero..awe how cute.idk why.i have become closer with alot of my friends and i am happy with that its good. friday.justines should be fun if i do say so. just got off the phone with one of my good friends i really wish they would stop trying to be so bad when i know inside they are so good.
and eh me right now idk im fine like idk im not gonna write about it in LJ..
<3

missing her

2004-11-21T20:18:26Z

well she is doing better, i have been going to see her like a ton. today when i went she had her eyes wide open i was so darn happy.
she was blowing kissess and giving high fives slowly but surely(thanks to enid and nikki), i asked her if she loved me and she squeezed my hand lol it was cute.
she goes to rehab tommarrow morning me and erika are going back tonite. we will visit her at rehab like her stalkers that we are haha.
yeah she is so strong she will be just fine i have faith in her<3
yeah other than that idk people really dissapoint me...

you dont realize how much you love someone..till they are gone

2004-11-11T20:48:55Z

it has been the roughest week eer and it doesnt feel like its getting better...
one of my favorite bestest people in the whole world is in the hospital and i feel like i have something to do with it people say i dont but i love her and just want her to talk to me and be 100% okay..
i cant express how i feel..words dont come close.. i want to be at the hospital right now with her but they arent allowing us there right now..me and erika are going crazy..my eyes hurt so much from all the tears..
all i keep thinking about is her right now i am nauseous always and i cant sleep i just hope she knows how much everyone loves her....
i need everyone to pray for Muyassar right now..
i love her and she needs to stay the strong mya everyone knows she is..
..she will be okay
..i am uselless of words right now ..thats all i have to say
<333 Mya stay strong gorgeous

"i doubt anyone gets what im saying"...

2004-11-05T15:14:52Z

yeah it was a slow butt week but luckily it was only four days and next week its only 3 days :D!

..yeah yesterday i had drivers ed.
pretty easy watched armagedon? lol and then i had to go to my aunt lisas it was pretty fun and justine showed up..we did my cousin dans and phils make up in a competetion and dan(my guy) won! whoop whoop!
..shes kinda living with me this weekend..as always haha..
mike and jarod stopped by last night at like 9 30 ahh it was good..
then me and justine passed out right after they left at 12 and i had to come here and babysit but it wont be that long and its just cheyene shes so easy..
next week i think friday girls night out.should be fun.

i was talking with morgan yesterday and i think i need to tell this person but i always wonder what they will think of me after i tell them , if they will still like me or even think of me the same,everyone is so used to me being the same well me for so long, i just think sometimes people think someone has been so perfect for so long that they will always be the same way and oh nevermind i doubt anyone gets what im saying,i just scare myself sometimes, i have only told two and idk maybe it should just stay that way...
<3

heyyaaa

2004-10-25T03:36:52Z

so this week was sloww but yeah this weekend was good..
friday~went to the volleybal pizza party and then jarod picked me up and went to his house chilled with the family and then justine barged in but awee mike asked her out finally and gave her a kiss awee and yeah then i went to her house and chilledd then i went home
saturday~had a tournament at 7 in the morning ewee but we lost and yeah volleyball is now over.done.yepp. then after that my mom took me shopping got me some pants and a shirt and it was good old quality time and then we went downtown to my uncle scotts house and i chilled most of the time with my philmister lol it was good..went home
today~woke up nice and late ahh..chatted on the phone for a bit then me and justine went and saw the grudge together ahh so damn scaryy!!! but it was good then we were fighting while waiting for her mom to come and i wish i could say i wont but she beat the crap outta me ;/..ggrrrr! and yeah came home and its alll good oin tuesday i get to start drivers ed hopefully with morgan :)
<3 x 8767655646546

P.S. tommarrow is one month :D

Sweetest Day...

2004-10-17T01:11:30Z

this week has been sloww as heck but luckily there were only four days of it!

yesterday me mike justine and jarod went out to Chipotle and a Haunted house after i had practice which was joyful as always and yeah it was a good day indeed.. got home at 11..passed out.

this morning i woke up at 6 thinking i had to babaysit but she canceled so i was up and just chilled with the bella, yeah then at like 12 today my dad took me and my sis for lunch/breakfeast i dont know i didnt eat all day ha! then after that my sweetest day was good even thought i didnt know there was such a thing but mm okay..i talked with jarod on the phone then he said he would pick me up bring me to his house and make me some warm soup and so he did haha it was good too and his dog is adoreable omgosh! and i totally whipped his butt in racing ;). it was grand. then he had work and took me to my aunts where i should have been and the losers were waiting for me outside what weirdos haha..
..yeah tommarrow i think myas house idk tho ..cant promise it
<3 you

iloveyoursmil3 @ 2004-10-07T22:03:00

2004-10-08T03:04:07Z

okay so my livejournal isnt working an di dont know why it wont let me sign in ever..i need hellpp??

iloveyoursmil3 @ 2004-10-02T11:12:00

2004-10-02T16:15:02Z

this week went by surprisingly fast..yesterday i had a TOUGH ass practice and then jarod picked me up and we went and saw Shark Tale with justine and mike(there so cute) it was a very good movie actually haha, but then we went to starbucks and i paid for once haha..then we went home justine just kinda chilled at my house lol and stayed the nite max popped obver later on that nite it was all good..
good day :).
then this morning me max and justine went out for breakfeast we left a two buck tip oh yeah we rock haha..
yeah later <3

yeahhhhhhh!

2004-09-26T19:59:08Z

well i have to stop with this 'once a week ill update thing'...
ha well anyways this week was homecoming week it was AWESOME!i wish they always played music int he halls it made life so much more enjoyable lol..ahah good week..
then friday was the football game i went home with katie on the bus and then we went picked up chanti and lauren and we effin lost on our homecoming game..so lame, but yeah jarod drove me and justine and ashley and mike home from the game yeah it was all good..
yesterday was very good. it was the homecoming dance. i strted getting ready at like 1 when i got my hair done but i didnt really love the way she did it so i played around with it for like 7657645654543 hours wheew lol. but it turned out descent, then i waited for Jarod to pick me up and he finally arrived at like 7 25 or so and we left and then i went and met his mom shes really nice lol. then we were off to the dance and we finally met up with vince and mike and them and it was a good dance alot of dancing i felt like my feet were gonna fall off haha.awe and nicole came <3!everyone was so pretty! then after the dance we went to bahama breeze i got a salad the waitor was seriously like high no joke but he was nice, there was like 7657657 people from shs at bahama breeze it was crazyyy.. and then after that we decided to go get mya and save her from her boredom so i knocked on her window seeing that me and mike called her 876765 times and no answer then she hides and yells "mom someones in the window" omg i was like no mya and then her mom came out and was like "aww hi rachel " hahaha..stupid mya haha but we stole her and went to morgans house and yeah theyw ere in the hot tub reece was streaking and i ran to gabys to find them sleeping but i jumped on them anyways haha then i left..and yeah it was all good everyone left and :) i got what i wanted for the night.
but yeah "justine has two boyfriends..justine has two boyfriends..justine has two boyfriends today hey hey " haha Morg...
it was a good night then this morning my mom took me jus and morg out for breakfeast it was funn good times good times..
if i get pics i will post..
oh yeah i need to get morgan birth control..
<3

iloveyoursmil3 @ 2004-09-19T11:10:00

2004-09-19T16:18:44Z

yeah yesterday was a good day...
in the morning my dad dropped us off at my grammas and she took us to this alstate thing like she does every year and there were rides we got nausaous lol mike puked sick then this fat ass sugly chick "sorry" thats mean but she called me an asshole gosh she has nerve..grrrr made me mad..then me and dan persuaded this guy to give us two t shirts f or 5 bucks! then i got a necklace and we left...then we got stuck in a ditch for an hour and my gramma made me and mike go talk to her ex boyfriend for a tow truck ...so akward but he wasnt home but i ripped his whole rosebush down becuz hes a jerk and made my gramma cry..

then i got home and my mom had like 76575465463543 people and half of them just said to me "omg Rachel is that you omg you look so much older" uhh yeah thanks so do you..then justine and morg got here and justine passed out and me and morg partied we didnt stay long...then our parents let us camp oput behind reeces house and it ended up being me reece vinnie morgan and justine all in a 3 person tent it wass crazay..we stayed up all night and these coyotes were eating other animals we could hear it and we ran to the park and yeah just chatted it was all good..but ewe Reece Morg and Vinnie exspecially vinnie..no comment...
but i didnt get alot of sleep i had to sleep by reece and his breath smelled and he slept so damn annoyingly then it got wet in there??lol odd then we woke up early me and reece went to justines well we werent invited but had no where else to go so we broke in and fell asleep and then i came home morga dropped me off and yeah i am so pooped out!

thats about it folks!
oh and ash got a man whoop whoop...
..mya should go to homecoming..with....me =)
<3

iloveyoursmil3 @ 2004-09-17T23:04:00

2004-09-18T04:08:53Z

yeahhh got home like an hour ago or sumthin like that i went to katies tonite since some plans changed..ppsshh...
but its okay i had fun tonite mya went over and we walked to white hen and just talked about EVERYTHING there is to talk about..it was all goodd

today i was pretty bummed out tho my coach yelled at me and said i was failing geometry eikes and i dont know what to do about that how the helkl coulkd i be failing???w/e...

homecoming is nexzt week which is exiting it is always a fun week plus i have a date now yayuh =)..dont know what i am doing yet tho haha..we will seeeeee....

i am so sick right now blahhhhhhh...dumb colds...
some people are really acting weird right now too...
<3

iloveyoursmil3 @ 2004-09-06T16:54:00

2004-09-06T22:00:22Z

Saturday: had a volleyball tournament earrllyyyy in the morning we sucked major asssssssssss..whoo hoo..yeah then after that it was Max's 18th grrr there is no way he is going away to college..but i will go look at colleges with him..oh yeah i also got the princess diaries CD Jaimie got me addicted i had to :)

Yesterday:woke up at 12 30 and then me and justine saw vanity fair i was so confusseled we just laughed at the end of it becuz we didnt understand it and didnt know what else to say and then we shopped i got a shirt..then we went back to her house and we watched real world on and on it was soo fun and we ordered out some food with no parentals there so we had to fordge a check hmph oh well it was a good carbless burger gotta do what ya gotta do..it was all good then we like passed out and didnt wake up till 12 again had like 764654654 weird dreams haha..then here i am :)
<3

iloveyoursmil3 @ 2004-09-03T23:32:00

2004-09-04T04:43:18Z

today i had schoollll yuckiesss..but it was an okay day for the most part.yeah after school i had practice, it was okayyy..then after practice i went to the football game with morgan mya and chanti (haha prep punk prep punk) hahaha and mike showed up outta no where??lol but i saw a bunch of people kinda crazay. yeah saw jus perform it was very cute if i do say so myself. then after the game we walked to 7 11 me and jus did. and yeah i was gonna go buy a drink but i saw erika and ahhh 765765546454353 hugs go to her she had a rough night and i <3 her:)!yeah then i was drivin home..here i am took a shower and i have a tournament aallll day long tommarrow eweies..and yeah right now nevermind....